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575 "Haiku" ... muwhahahaha!

If you like these you'll also like Haikooky by James Rodgers:

these haiku, it's true

are dreaded for a reason

but they're funny too


found at the thrift store

paperback first edition

Kindle for Dummies


springtime, frogs and birds

are chirping and squirrels are

raiding the dumpster


should not have asked the

missionary about his

position on sex


neon pink woman

clothes and hair, so mad at the

bee following her


no one wants to hit

the Trump piñata, he is

not full of candy...


avoid all the Darts

Dodge all the Rams and watch out

for Escaping Fords


Hillary or Trump

Bernie Sanders is spinning

in his swivel chair


in Rio the gold

goes to antibiotic

resistant disease


Rio Olympics

water hazards for rowers

include boils and sores


the krill versus seal

diet debate next on the

ask orca podcast


how computers work:

ex V P dances, you know,

an Al Gore rhythm


'faith' is often a

euphemism for 'oh God!

These people are nuts!'


soggy leaves abound

as I play mind games with squirrels

right now it’s a tie


wasn’t really moved

at the tearful reunion

of onion farmers


so close to having

a good Icarus poem but

again… crash and burn


majority rules

majority of people

are just plain stupid


big fat hairy fly

circling kingdoms of air

compound and surreal


it takes seventeen

muscles to smile, somewhere here

there is a haiku


seventeen muscles

to smile, but Michael frowns, says

its not a haiku :(


fact-checking is a

survival trait in this mis-

information age


loan officer's new

hotel job, he specialized

in turn down service


why did Fred Flintstone

go to the podiatrist?

his car had a flat


a fork in the road

can lead to many options

or just a flat tire


the road diverges

construction must be done, they

stuck a fork in it


false advertising

in the chicken pot pie there's

no marijuana


he had an idea

his friends knew him and thought it

must be a tumor


Bill tripped and slid down

a hill, his ass was greener

on the other side


don’t waste your vote on

someone competent, vote for

someone who’s running


the astrologer

was right until Pluto stopped

being a planet


Pluto demoted

suddenly my horoscope

is more accurate


its not surprising

the calendar maker’s end

his days were numbered


the dent wizard truck

for paintless dent removal

has a dent in it


I once had a job

ballet parking, the tutu

was embarrassing


the tedium was

great, but now I can say I

am bored certified


a new study says

testosterone inhibits

the brain’s work good… ness


so far the score is

Godzilla fifteen hundred

Tokyo zero


when the meter maid

had a yard sale, an inchworm

tripped over her foot


second opinion

the cyst will cease and desist

doctor law insists


Starbucks merged with Ace

Hardware, they started serving

screwdrivers at noon


train graffiti says:

stop making stupid people,

use a damn condom!

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